Do The Watermelon Crawl

Bella Sugar posted a little note about a watermelon pedicure being offered at a salon in NYC. I thought it was super cute, and since I like to have fun with my toesies, I decided to copy it and present it to you guys. I'm certainly not going to New York any time soon, so I'll have to make do with D.I.Y. watermelon for now.

You will need:

• Hot pink or watermelon red nail polish, lime green, pale pink (like one you would use to do a french manicure), clear polish, and black.



• A fine paintbrush, nail art brush, or a couple toothpicks.



• French manicure adhesive guide strips.



• Polish remover, fruit scented lotion (watermelon if you can get it), pedicure goodies.
  
  

Step 1- Get your feet into fighting condition. Buff up your heels, trim your nails so that they are nice and straight, and give them a quick filing to soften the edges. Lotion up, and then remove all old polish. Even if you have bare toes to start with, give them a quick swipe to remove oils from your nails. Let dry.

Step 2 - Place the manicure strip along the edge of your nails so that no edges peek out. Ensure that there are no bubbles or warps and press it down firmly.

Step 3 - Paint the entire toe with the pink or red polish. Don't worry if you get some on the manicure strip, it will come off later.

Step 4 - Peel off the manicure strip. See how it left a nice clean line of unpainted toe? This will be the rind. With the fine paint brush, toothpick etc., paint this strip green. Rinse your brush thoroughly with polish remover.

Step 5 - With a steady hand, use the pale pink to draw a super fine line along the edge of the green and pink. Rinse the brush with polish remover.

Step 6 - Using the black, add 3 teardrop shaped dots on a diagonal line. These are the seeds. Rinse the brush.

Step 7 - Give everything a good coat of clear polish, slip on some flip flops, and go enjoy the sun with your new summery toes.

Listening to: Rainbow Stylin' -Royksopp

Haggard

Some days you need a little something extra to combat facial haggardness. One such day would be one where you are woken up at 3 a.m. with the tent collapsed around you. When you open the fly, you are greeted by snow. A lot of it. In May. Then, you have to pack up your camp in the dead dark wearing flip flops and drive an hour and a half back to your home. On such a day, you need to slather your face in Weleda Skin Food. Then you need to go to sleep.

Camping Beauty

This weekend, we Canadians have a holiday called Victoria Day. Like most Albertans, I'm choosing to celebrate my sovereign's birthday by camping, since May Long weekend is marked as the beginning of spring, and no amount of threatening snow and -3c temperatures will break through my heavy wall of denial. You hear me, weather man?! I will shiver in defiance in my tent.

So, just because I'm going to smell like I'm homeless, be wearing more layers than a hibernating bear, and feed solely from the tube meat food group (chuh, they didn't teach you about that one in kindergarden, did they?), I will not sacrifice looking like a human being. Juuuuust in case the park wardens come around to our campsite because there are empty fireworks lying around and something has blown up.

Not that anything like that has ever happened before. Nooooooo. Never.

I present to you my list of products to take on a camping trip. I've cut out all of the extras, like shiny lip gloss and eyeliner, that you may consider essentials when doing your thing at home. No body needs those when they are roughing it. Seriously, you will smell like a sasquatch by the end of the trip. It seems a little silly to be absolutely flawless when considering that fact.

1.) Sunscreen!

You are outside. All day. Fishing, hiking, rafting, building sandcastles, drinking a 50/50 blend of Baileys and coffee by the fire. You will get burned if you don't do something about it. Take some sunscreen. I use Befine's daily moisturizer with SPF 15, but you really should go higher SPF. Apocalypstick Now is a sunblock Nazi, and is doing a week of sunscreen reviews right now, so pick up one of her recommendations.

2.)Sport Sunblock

For the same reason you need sunscreen for your face, you need some for your body. Do you know what skin cancer looks like?! Get some waterproof stuff so that you don't need to reapply every time you go in the water or get sweaty.

3.) Burt's Bees

Because a weekend of chapped lips is no fun.

4.) Revlon's ColorStay Mineral Powder Foundation

Self contained, comes with it's own brush, evens out your skin, cuts the shine. What more do you need? A full liquid foundation takes too long to apply, you look like a moron trying to get it even by the light of a kerosene lamp, and when you step outside your tent into the gloriousness of nature, everyone can see how un-natural you are in comparison.

5.)Hair powder or dry shampoo

4 days of no showers can leave you looking like a ragamuffin. When you are going to a place where washing your hair would be extremely difficult and labour intensive, take the easy way and banish greasies and the smoke smell with a hair powder. Section your hair, sprinkle some powder near the roots, focussing on the hairline and your part, rub it in really well, and you are set. Bumble and Bumble makes hair colour specific powders, and TIGI makes Rockaholic dry shampoo.

6.)Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap

You can wash with it! You can clean with it! You can brush your teeth, douche, and replace deoderant with it! Well...maybe not those last 3, but this a pretty handy soap for all your camp needs. Buy the peppermint.

7.) Tube Lash mascara

If you're careful, you might be able to go all weekend without reapplying. Water and sleep proof, this stuff keeps you gorgeous, and is a snap to take off if you want or need to. Remember to give your lashes a good curl before applying.

8.) Bronzer

Fake the outdoorsy glow by brushing on some bronzer. I like Physicians Formula's Mineral Wear Bronzer because it is shimmer free and looks like a real tan (* see - not orange) on my skin.

There you have it! Even if the weather isn't beautiful, you will be - without looking like a prissy diva. Have a whole bunch of (safe) fun on your camping trips! Viva la Spring! Now, where's my beer and down filled jacket?

Listening to: Red Football - Sinead O'Connor

Tooootally Tubular, Dude!

Sorry, sorry, SORRY. I started a new job in a garden centre for the summer, and it is surprising how much it is taking out of me. I'm hot all day, I have to wear a lime green shirt that is not flattering with my skin tone and matches nothing in my closet, and my boss is anal retentive (and possibly autistic) and basically screams at everyone if they so much as breathe wrong. Yesterday he got mad at me for carrying my water bottle. I was on my lunch break.

Thus, I haven't had much time or energy to devote to this site for the last couple of days. But, working there gave me the opportunity (or the excuse, which ever way you want to look at it) to try out some new makeup, which I can now offer up as a procrastination tool for you guys.

The problem: The humidity and heat in the greenhouse was doing funny things to my mascara. It was flaky and smudgy when it hadn't been either before I started working. Plus, it got wet, and then bled down into the corners of my eyes. And none of my co-workers told me. All day.

What does this tell me (besides the fact that everyone working with me are assholes)? I needed to find a new, more durable mascara if I wished to keep my dignity at work. That's what.

So I combed through Apocalypstick Now's archives, and as that woman can do no wrong makeup-wise in my eyes, I decided to try out some tubey mascara on her recommendation.

I've explained the trouble with finding 'good' brands of makeup, and it was 9:45 p.m., so I went to Wal-Mart and picked up L'Oreal's Double Extend Beauty Tubes Mascara. It is a double sided wand with primer on one side and mascara on the other. The mascara is not like any other that you have used before. It quite literally makes little tubes around each lash. You can see the little hollowed out tubes when you wash it off. Speaking of which, washing it off is a breeze. You wet a wash cloth, press it down gently on your lashes, then splash water on your face a couple times. This combination of pressure and water is the only thing that removes the tubes, so you can indeed cry in it and nap in it (as Apocalypstick pointed out), without worrying that you'll frighten pets and small children afterward. No racoon eyes, no mess. Simplicity is beautiful, my friends.

The primer isn't anything special on the top lashes. Actually, the first time I used it, I thought it looked like it was laced with rat hairs (BellaSugar said that it looks like 'lash lice'. Ew.). It was generally clumpy, and made my lashes look brittle when the mascara went over top. I also couldn't see any real difference between the 'primed' lashes and the 'unprimed' ones when I tested it sans-primer. But, when used on the lower lashes, the primer really delivered. My bottom lashes were about half as long as my top lashes. They were so long they brushed the bags under my eyes. The primer also makes removal much easier, if you have trouble getting the lower level mascara free.

What I've found works best is applying my regular old mascara as a primer, then giving them a second coat with the tubey formula. Yeah, my BadGal Lash is now just a very expensive primer, but combined with the Double Extend, it looks like I've got fake eyelashes on. I think this trick would only work with a wax based mascara (BadGal, Maybelline's Full 'N Soft), as other types would be too hard by the time you swiped on the tubes and would result in may-jah clumping. The tube mascara alone works pretty good, but not so awsome that you should chuck out your old stand-by. But, if you have been having trouble with the staying power of regular mascara, but don't like the damage and hassle of water proof formulas, you should walk in the way of the tube. I'll have to try out some other brands and report back. Even at this early stage, I think I might be hooked.

Listening to: Back To The Start - Lily Allen

I DO Give A Fig

I have never tasted a fresh fig. By all accounts, they don't travel well, and it's not like Canada is known for growing exotic fruit, so all we get here are the dried ones. I imagine they are as different in taste as a grape is from a raisin. What has given me this sudden, odd, and unquenchable need to actually taste a fig?

Yes, my shower gel smells so good that I now need to track down the nearest Greek person and beg them to tell me where to get a friggin' fig. Damn you, Korres for putting dreams into my head that were never meant to be!

Guess I'll just go eat my fig newtons now...

Listening to: Don't Trust Me - 3OH!

Feel Gross? Curl Your Eyelashes!

Soooo...I'm sick with the ickiest tonsillitis in the world. The last thing I want to do is look like I'm feeling sick. Y'know what I mean? If I leave myself to be greasy, uncombed, unwashed, and uncared for, I feel way worse and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and die. But, if I force myself up, run a brush through my hair and swipe on some mascara, I feel at least 60% better. That is a statistical fact, you can check it yourself.

But lately, my lashes haven't been holding any curl. I'm using BadGal Lash by Benefit right now, and when I first put it on, everything curls right up and my lashes skim my eyebrows. But 5 minutes later, I'll catch a glimpse of myself and see that they have fallen completely flat. I might as well have done nothing at all. So, I asked myself: is it the mascara that is failing, or my crap $3 lash curler that I got at the grocery store? I picked the one that was cheapest to replace (and the words "got it at the grocery store" tipped me off that something might be amiss here).

So off I went to everyone's favorite big box store, took a gander at all of the torture tools, and was immediately caught up by LaCross' Double Curl Lash Curler. Double the curling points with half the work? And it's pink? Six Dollars? Pink? Done!

So basically, what this little gem does is crimps your lashes in 2 places with only one squeeze. That means you don't need to walk the curler out to get a graceful sweep of lash. It also means less chance that you will curl your lashes properly at the base, but then move the curler out for a second curl, hit in the middle of your lashes, and give yourself square lashes. It also helps if you want the curl of a heated lash curler, but are afraid of sticking hot things near your eyes (and so you should be!).

So...long story short, turns out that it was my crappy curler and not my mascara that was the problem. I know, big surprise. I now have curly, flirty lashes that stayed all the way through an evening date last night. I may have looked better than I felt, but I certainly would have felt much worse if I hadn't looked that good. Or...does that make any sense?...er...you know what I mean... Now excuse me, but I need some hot tea and a Strepsil. Big, flirty tonsils are not nearly as hot as big, flirty lashes.

On The Spot

My skin has been steadily getting better with my new skin care routine, but I still have a few red spots and undereye circles (as well as the occasional zit when I get lazy and fall asleep with my makeup on...). This means that a good concealer is still needed. I've tried quite a few, including CG's stick concealer and L'Oreal's mineral concealer, and while they work, they always have some little flaw that makes me cringe. The stick concealers always look a little chalky, and the mineral stuff was a little too dark and made my skin look oddly dry. I've been on the hunt for a good concealer since Burt's Bees stopped making their wonderful wax concealer. That stuff covered everything, stayed on through days at the beach, and didn't look weirdly fake. It was the ideal concealer: didn't look like anything was there, but also made blemishes look like they had disappeared too. And isn't that the point of a concealer? To make you look seamlessly flawless?

I think I have found a replacement! Revlon's Age Defying Spa concealer is my new favorite makeup item. It is quite obviously a rip off of YSL's Touche Eclat, but at under half price compared to the luxury brand, I'll take this fake any day. It is smooth and light, and you only need a touch of product to cover the nasties. Yay! Now lets just hope they don't discontinue this stuff like they do to all of my favorite makeup...RIP, Wings of Love...

Listening to: Loose Wires - Kenna

P.S. Sorry I haven't written for so long, it was exam week. I'm sure all two of you who read regularly were so worried...

Lip Smackers For Grown-Ups!

Yeah.

Yeah, I know what this is for. I see that it specifies 'nipples', and is made for the sole purpose of 'nibbling'. Got it. Will receive shocked email from my mother in 3-2-1. Note to sisters and young friends: you can not buy this until you are legal.

But this stuff is awsome. Tasty and sweet with lots of plumping tingle. It's like a less painful version of Lip Venom, and it only costs $10 for a big ol' 2 ounce tub. That's a lot of balm. I've been glossing up with the Razzleberry, but the Stawberry is my favorite. I have to stop myself from licking it off every 2 minutes. Off my lips, that is. I *ahem* only condone using this on your lips.

Listening to: Mexico - Incubus

Trim The Hedges

Bikinis, shorts, dresses - they all have one thing in common.

Yes, they require you to shave. Spring has sprung, my friends, and that means ridding yourself of that yeti-like coat you have let grow unchecked on your body since November. I've been using coconut oil and plain ol' bar soap to lather up, and it gives a super close and silky finish. But there are uh...other things... that must be tamed as well, since beach season approacheth.

You know the 12 year old girl in the ill fitting one piece you always see at the local pool? And her mom has obviously not given her the 'facts of life' talk yet, and is not ready for her to grow up? And it looks like a fake beard is stuck down her bottoms? Yeah...You know what I'm talking about...You don't want to be 'that girl'...Nobody wants the pube peek going on. NOBODY.

I'm not saying you have to take it all off, but at least put on the bikini bottoms and clean up the stragglers. Anything else is completely up to you.

The best product for lazy folk such as myself is Nad's Brazilian and Bikini Kit. It heats up in your microwave, requires no cloth strips (yeah, no hassle to lay the strips down right, no icky cleanup!), and it gets rid of everything for 3 weeks. That means no razor burn or stubble 2 days after you 'took care of it'. And, if shapes and high pain tolerance are your thing, they include 'stencils' to shape the downstairs into a triangle, a heart, lightening, or the classic strip. At $11, this costs the same as a razor. Give it a try.

Listening to: Summertime - Sublime

Tales From The Makeup Crypt - Episode 1

I buy everything that catches my eye. Ok, maybe that's a bit of an overstatement, but I get really excited about new cosmetics. All of the magazines we get are American, so I see ads for new products months before they come out here. By the time they arrive, I have convinced myself that I need this new something. So I buy it, try it, and wish I had saved my $10. The much-coveted new thing gets shoved into the miriad of cheap cosmetic bags from GWP's that hold other cast offs... This elephant's graveyard of rejects and makeup bags is the Makeup Crypt (OoOoOoOoHHHhhh - cue menacing music)

One of the most recent interments: Cover Girl's Simply Ageless

I'm not sure why I bought an anti-wrinkle foundation. It appealed to me at the time, that's all I can say. Anyway, Cover Girl claims that this stuff is supposed to "stay suspended over fine lines and wrinkles". I have to say, because of my oily skin, I have very few lines, even super fine ones, and my skin is super smooth. Also, I'm 20. Not exactly prime wrinkle gettin' time.

And yet, somehow, this stuff actually found a way to age me. It sank into the tiniest little crevices, settled into smile lines around my eyes, and (somehow) found areas on my face that were 'dry' and got caught on the bits of rough skin that weren't there until I put this crap on. This was like smothering my face with moistened chalk.

If this stuff reacted badly on my skin, I can't imagine what it would do to the skin of it's target audience. I hate to believe that Ellen lied...but...take a hint from me and leave this stuff to the geisha girls, clowns, and the crypt keeper...

Listening to: I Wanna Riot - Rancid

Lighten Up

I love colouring my hair; every spring I start the lighter and medium blonde highlights, and every winter I do caramel and dirty blonde lowlights (For reference, I get the 'Nicole Richie' look). Since I'm broke as all hell, and highlights start to look really bad if you don't keep up with maintenence, sometimes I go to the esthetics schools here in town to get my work done.

Whoa, whoa whoa, you say? Don't I end up with blotchy crap highlights that make me want to cry, you say?

This is what FEAR looks like...

Well, I reply, the esthetics program is winding down right now, so most of the students are basically fully trained hairdressers that just haven't gotten their little piece o' paper yet. And, if you happen to be a student, Marvel College (Kelowna, Red Deer, Calgary, Edmonton, Saskatoon, Winnipeg) has a 50% off deal if you have a valid (or still passable as valid) highschool or post-secondary student I.D. A full head of foils will set you back only $25 bucks. Yeah, seriously. Even if you aren't a student, foils will only cost you $40-$55 bucks. That's at least half price from what you would pay in a 'salon'.

I think everyone needs a little foil-age in the summer, even you dark haired girls. I'm not saying go get Russian Mafia wife or bad asian teen bleached highlights, I'm saying get a colour one or two shades lighter than your base colour. It really brightens things up, without you looking totally fake or like your best friend combed L'Oreal's Chunking through your hair. So, if you have nearly black hair, get a deep auburn or medium chestnut shade partially foiled through (a la Megan Fox), and you will be looking at your self in store windows as you pass. Or, if you'd rather D.I.Y., Sun-In starts to hit the shelves at this time of year. (Please...no...)

Listening to: Just A Phase - Incubus

Feel A Little Blue To Get Red-Hot

I love the idea of fire engine crazy red lips. I only ever pull electric cherry in my dreams. In reality, I usually just swipe on some pumped up version of my natural lip or a muted wine. It's pretty...but so boring. So, my fantasy Jenni is going to rock some rock-steady red. Yup.

Speaking of rock-steady and red, I have a tip from Gwen Stefani, the queen of the crimson pout: Use a sheer blue gloss over your red lipstick. It adds a blue tint to the red (but does not turn it purple) that amps up the colour, makes your lips look fuller (due to the shine reflecting off the curves of your lips), and (supposedly) makes your teeth look whiter. Whatever, if that's how Gwen gets those crazy red lips, I'm all for it. CoverGirl makes a blue gloss called Happy Hour. It's part of their Amazemint line, so it also gives a minty tingle. Mmmm minty... and I promise you won't look like you've got hypothermia.

Listening to: Bathwater - No Doubt

Doing The Caterpilar Crawl

Please do something with your eyebrows.

Can you imagine what some tweezers, a magnifing mirror, and a bit of clear mascara could have done for these guys?

I'm not saying you need to pluck your brows into oblivion (on the contrary, a manicured full brow is quite becoming), but please groom and control them. I used to finish my makeup and leave my eyebrows to do as they pleased, and by the end of the day I was doing my best to make my Scottish ancestors proud.

I eventually figured out that a quick swipe of clear gel, teasing the 'brow hairs up just a smidgen, framed my whole face and polished the look. No more wonk stray hairs! No more bangs ruffling the arch and giving me a mildly quizzical expression! Yay!

You can tame your face fuzz with whatever products you wish; Ive heard of chapstick to glue them down, hairspray or hairgel on a clean eyecomb, and brow wax. Find a way that suits you.

Wonky 'brow affects 1 in 3 people...are you at risk?

Listening to: Instant Pleasure - Rufus Wainwright

Breeding A New Bunny

Y'know how everyone does the 'snow bunny' look in winter, with the frosty shadow, pale lips, and shimmery pink blush? Pair with a silver bikini, earmuffs, mittens, and furry white yeti boots, and you've got beer girl at the ski hill...but a hot beer girl...

Anyway, with the advent of spring, the 'snow bunny' needs to uh...change its colours. So, I present to you the 'easter bunny' (come on, gimme a break...).

You can do this with all drugstore makeup if you're doing cheap n chic, or you can have some fun with M.A.C. You need:

• CoverGirl Eyeshadow quad in Urban Basics



• Black or brown eyeliner



• Revlon Matte Blush in Rose Rapture



• Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer in Rhubarb



• Your regular old foundation, coverup, mascara, etc.
  

Do your base and give yourself a light cover - let your freckles peek through if you have them, but cover dark spots. You want a creamy, matte finish.

Add blush to your apples and blend out.

With the shadow,use the white highligher on the inner corners of your eyes and highlight your brow bone lightly.

Make a smokey eye with the blue-grey shade. Add some of the taupe for shimmer if you want, or make the grey more opaque for a matte look. This stuff applies pretty sheer, and after 1/2 an hour tones down to more of a grey than a blue-purple.

Line your top lashes with a medium thickness line.

Curl your lashes and pile on the mascara on the top.

Give a quick swipe of the Burt's lipgloss. I know it applies in a weird pink at first, but rub it in well and it is a perfect springy, girly pink. For extra gloss, add some bubblegum liquid gloss. I like Quo's Lip Gloss in Babe.

Curl your hair, throw on a sundress and a cardigan, and smile at everyone who passes. This is very on-par with the spring makeup looks that went down the runways.

I promise you will make a better 'easter bunny' than this guy...

Stroke Me The Right Way

I hate buying makeup brushes. I hate walking into M.A.C. and looking at their horridly overpriced brushes. I hate knowing that I will buy them, even when I know Michael's Craft store has basically the same thing in the painting section for 1/5th of the price. It's garbage. So, out of poverty and need, I usually end up buying brushes from the drug store, which inevitably turn out to be absolute crap; bristles are rough, fall out, don't distibute product evenly, or seem to suck up product like a sponge.

This is an issue no more!

EcoTools makes a wonderful line of quality drug store brushes that I would say are comparable to expensive brands. I picked up their Blush brush for around $8, and was quite resigned to picking brush bits from my cheeks and having to throw the p.o.s. out within the month because it was falling apart. EcoTools has proven me wrong. This brush is incredibly soft taklon, and makes me want to sit and apply blush all morning long, just to have it strooooke up and down my cheek. It's gorgeous. And, you may be interested to know that these brushes are made with recycled or sustainable materials, and the bristles are made of cruelty free hair. It's just a small way to help, if that's your thing.

I haven't tried any of EcoTool's products besides the Blush brush, but the foundation brush looks halfway decent, and the angled liner brush looks serviceable too. I would say the Blush brush is equal to M.A.C.'s 116 Blush Brush, which retails for $38.50. That's a savings of over $30, guys. Go give EcoTools a try, and use the money you saved to buy yourself somethin' reeeaaaal niiice.

Listening to: Electric Feel - MGMT

Can You Can-Canela?

My boyfriend's parents go on vacation to the Dominican about twice a year. With the uncanny precision of a sixth sense, they always go right when the weather turns to absolute shit and we all hole up like rodents, under layers of blankets to keep warm. And, they return, tanned and smiling, bearing rum and coffee, right after the worst of the blizzard has passed. I don't know how they do it.


Anyway, they came back again a couple weeks ago, and brought us some vanilla, coffee, and coconut oil. My boyfriend loves to cook, and he wanted some different types of oils to try. His parents brought us back a squirt bottle with the words "For A Fast and Long, Lastin Tan" (sic) on the front, and a glass bottle called "Can Canela". Neither of them looked like they would make great cooking oils (although 'Fast and Long, Lastin" does smell a tidge like mushrooms... I'm not sure I could trust it). So, I carted both of them off to the bathroom to join the ranks of bathroom crap I try once then throw in a basket and never look at again.


But...the Can Canela stuff is wonderful! I opened it up to put a little on my lips when I was running late one day, and discovered that 'canela' meant that it was cinnamon. Heh. If my Spanish was better, maybe I would have known that, eh... Anyway, I've been using this for everything lately. It moisturizes hands and feet, plumps and shines up lips, makes a lovely bath oil, and gives a wonderfully close and satiny shave. I can't believe I haven't tried coconut oil before.


You don't have to wait for someone to vacation in the Caribbean to try this out. Health food and grocery stores sell tubs of coconut oil (it is a bit more expensive when it's imported...$10-$15), and seriously, all the Dominicans did was throw a cinnamon stick into the oil and let it sit there and steep. You can do the same thing. You could also use ground cinnamon, but I don't think I would use that on anything but lips, since it might be gritty. Throw some into little travel tubs or lip pots, and you have gorgeous on the go. But, be warned, this stuff switches from solid to liquid very quickly. It is solid in my house (about 18C), but liquid the second it touches my hands. Use with caution. And...maybe look for your "fast", "long", and "lastin" things elsewhere, m'kay?


Listening to: Summertime - Sublime

Milky Milky Cocoa Puffs

I've always liked the idea of moisturizers. I try every one that catches my fancy, thinking they will work for me the way they work for everyone else, and always wind up looking like I've covered my face in Crisco (which, by the way, I've heard is an excellent moisturizer...). My face breaks out, gets red, or feels like it has been sealed with wax. But I always try again...

This time my persistence has paid off! Befine makes a Night Cream with cocoa, millet, & rice bran that I absolutely love! I haven't broken out! My face isn't red! I don't feel like I've applied Burt's Lipbalm to my face! And (this is the cool part) I'M NOT SHINY!

This is a first, people. I'm always shiny. I am the Kuwait of faces. I use this morning and night, and when this soaks in, I don't look or feel like I've put anything on. There is no residual slick, no funny surface sheen. My skin feels like skin...just softer than it was 5 minutes before, and more like I can stretch it and make faces to match my emotions without my skin cracking like a salt flat. And I'm mattified, but don't have that weird grainy-chemically feeling mattifying lotions get. Yes, this is a miracle. I would like to nominate whoever makes Befine products for a sainthood. I'm pretty sure this qualifies.

Don't run out and buy this if you aren't of the extremely greasy of face, I really don't think this will be enough for you. And, I'll admit, this has a slightly off boiled rice smell, but it fades quickly, I promise!You oily girls with strong olfactory defences, listen up: if you moisturize, your face won't try to compensate and over produce oil. Adding moisture can be a good thing - if you find the 'right' product. This one might be it. I bought mine from Superstore for $7, but it looks like this normally goes for about $20. I'd say it is worth it. If you aren't sure you want to shell out the money for this before you discover the magic for yourself, Befine makes little sample packettes, with enough product for about 10 uses, that cost about $2.

Listening to: I'm In Miami, Bitch - LMFAO *This is the international song of the douche. Just listening to it makes me feel like I need to pop my collar, wear Axe, and drive a big truck. But it's sooo catchy...

I WILL NOT Be Inviting YOU To Tea!

No.

Just...No.

I am constantly on the lookout for something that will give me pretty, sexy beach hair. I am essentially a lazy creature, but my vanity demands that I look good. So, I try to find the shortest route to pretty that I can. Always.

I was hopeful that this would be a shortcut to my hair in the morning - texturized and wave inducing without being crunchy, wet-gel looking, or terribly expensive. "Separate curls and waves to create a dishevelled, loose, beach life effect"? Sign me up!

It. Did. NOT. Deliver.

This smells like you have doused your head in Acqua DiGio, the scent of douchebags and popped collars world wide. I'm not talking 'just a little' masculine...this is full on gross. When I got into the car, my boyfriend sniffed and asked me what in hell I had put on. He doesn't notice this stuff unless it is bad.

And it did not wave my hair. It just looked chunky and a bit stiff, like I had sprayed the bejeezus out of it with spray starch. This morning when I woke up, I noticed that my hair had literally felted together in some places.

No.

My Anglophilia stops here. Well...except for the hot mess below...

Listening to: Not Fair - Lily Allen

Put A Little Spring In Your Step

On Friday and Saturday, it was gorgeous here. I felt so uplifted; I went and poked around looking for pretty sun dresses at the mall and skipped through the slushy puddles. The sun was out, the snow was melting, and one of the spring irises was blooming in my garden! I couldn't help but go buy a pretty spring nail colour to match my mood.

I picked up N.Y.C.'s In A New York Color Minute Quick Dry polish in Uptown (242B) for a very affordable $1.99. This is a perfect petal pink, just like the lipstick Barbie wore in the 90's. Uptown applies really smoothly without streaking or getting that weird layered look pink polishes sometimes get, so you can choose to apply a more understated single coat or a bold 12-inch-doll double coat. It really is so springy and cute, it instantly lifted my mood.

Which is good, since Sunday it snowed like a mutha and turned back into winter. Great.

Listening to:The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning - Smashing Pumpkins

Rime Of The Ancient Mints

Just a quick update on the Plus White 5 Minute Speed Whitening gel I've been using.

I'm gonna say this stuff works. Yes, I know, it looks like a product you would buy from The Shopping Network or off an infomercial at 4 in the morning during a moment of sleep deprived weakness. I know it is literally the cheapest whitening product on the shelves (after whitening toothpastes. But those are crap that made the skin in my mouth peel. Ew.).

I'll admit I sort of forgot about this mission for a couple of days, so I haven't reached optimum whiteness yet. But there has been a definite and noticeable lightening of my tooth colour using this gel twice a day for about 10 minutes each time. Not quite whites-of-the-eyes white, or paper white yet, but brighter and whiter than I've gotten them before using Colgate's whitening gels.

The gel is really thick and a bit hard to spread over your teeth with q-tips, but it dries pretty quickly and does not hurt my teeth, gums, or lips if I accidentally get some on them. I have to bare my teeth for the duration of the treatment, since saliva loosens it and then you get this uncomfortable clump of gel sitting and swishing behind your lips. I will say that if you choose to try this out, you should buy the $14 package with the tray. I wish I had now, but since this was an experiment, I went the cheap route incase this stuff didn't live up to its hype. To use, brush and floss your teeth, dry them with a piece of tissue or a clean washcloth, squish this stuff on, and ignore the fact that it tastes just like those 10 year old scotch mints your grandma keeps on her coffee table.

Now I need to go do my Political Science paper...no more procrastination!

Listening to: Be Mine (Ballad Version)- Robyn

Making Things Easier For Them Workin' Girls

Holy Sweet God, I don't know who came up with these things. I'm torn between feeling absolutely horrified and thinking these are AMAZING! They are like those transfer tattoos that I used to put all over myself to look badass, but grown up. They also look like they were created just for Ru Paul. These are idiot proof cream shadows in crazy-pants designs on transfer papers. So, for only $25, you too can look like a prostitute/clown fetishist applied your makeup for you. I almost want them!

To get a final opinion, I showed these bits o' fabulous to my dear boyfriend; he laughed, asked me if I remembered that Simpsons episode in which Homer invents a makeup gun, and then shouted "Whores, Whores, WHORES!" like a carnie at the fair. I guess that settles it. On the topic of whores, here's something to make your day.

Listening to: Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright

I Think They Got Blind Children To Name These

I am always on the hunt for a good, true brown eyeliner. Whenever I find a liner that looks like it might be ok, it always turns out to have a heavy red pigment to it that makes me look like I've been crying, or it is just a tad too soft and makes my eyes look recessed.

GOSH cosmetics makes a good stick liner called Metallic Brass, which is neither metallic nor brass coloured. It is a dark dark brown with teensy tiny flecks of gold in it. These flecks did not irritate my eyes at all, and are honestly hardly noticeable once this is on your eyes. Metallic Brass is part of their Velvet Touch Waterproof line, which they claim will not budge after it sets. It definately does not move for love or money from dry areas, like my the back of my hand, so if you are dry around the eye area, this will probably be super for you. I'm a bit oilier, but even then it only smudges a tiny bit, and creates sexy bedroom eyes when I apply it "oriental" style. And this stuff is very waterproof, so you will have to use some oil based remover or cold cream to get it off. GOSH has also included vitamin E and Jojoba oils to "moisturize", although how much moisture you'll absorb from your eyeliner is a bit dubious. They do apply really smoothly and don't look waxy, so I guess GOSH is onto something with their wonder formula. In addition to Metallic Brass, GOSH makes 26 other liner colours, all with stupid or misleading names and online swatches that are not even close, making me wonder about GOSH's ability to correctly identify and represent colours. Ah well, at least their products are good!

Listening to: Three Little Words - Frankmusik

A Steal Of A Peel

With the demise of the KMF Peaches and Creme AHA lotion, my hopes for an AHA product that works also died. However, being a resilient creature, and hopelessly addicted to beauty products, I recovered my broken heart and returned to the cosmetic aisle of my local drug store.

I love checking out the bargain bin; my love of finding a deal and constrained finances combine to give me quite a thrill when I find something that is actually good in the bin of separated nail polishes and broken powder compacts. During my most recent foray into the bin of lost retail hopes, I found St. Ives' Peel Off Hydroxy Masque for $1.99. I figured this was a pretty acceptable price for something that might just end up shoved to the back of my vanity, bought it, and rushed home to slather my face with goop.

The first time I opened the cap, watery gel rushed out. I'm going to suggest that you don't do that. Shake the bottle very thoroughly and carefully squeeze out a bit at a time. The consistency is a bit thin, so to prevent breaking when I peeled it off, I let it dry for about 7 minutes and then applied a second thin coating. This stuff smells like slightly fermented apples and what I can only describe as acid...something like what you would imagine a mad scientist's laboratory to smell like. And the vapours wafting up while my face dried made my eyes water. I'm serious, this stuff burns the eyes like it was made from the urine of satan's minions.

But for all of the terrible parts of this masque, it works wonderfully. It didn't burn while on my skin, and didn't give me any type of chemical burns along my cheekbones (where I usually get burned from bad products). It is actually pretty gentle when you peel it off, I didn't wince or have to pull slowly. It comes off fairly easily, and doesn't give you the impression that you just applied superglue to your face. My skin was smooth, radiant, and not at all red from over exfoliation. I also didn't feel too tight, and didn't need moisturizer after peeling the translucent masque from my face. And my acne scars and pores seemed diminished, probably from the salicylic and lactic acids. I've now used it twice a week for 2 weeks with no ill side effects or breakouts.I have to say I was suprised and impressed.

Here's the bad part: St. Ives has discontinued this product, so if you want to try it out, get it quick. They started to phase it out in January, so bottles of this should still be around, and should be super cheap. Go get some and join me in the disgusting fun found in peeling this crap off your face and then peering at it to see if any gross pores came loose with it. Repulsive but soooo satisfying...

Listening to: Eyes On Fire - Blue Foundation (Yes, from the Twilight soundtrack...you want to make something of it?)

Ring The Alarms

Just incase you don't know, both Elizabeth Arden and Estee Lauder have gift with purchase promotions going on right now.

The Elizabeth Arden GWP is going on at Sears, and actually looks pretty sweet. It is a 9 piece set with a $38 purchase. It includes:

• 15 mL Ceramide PP Moisture Cream SPF 15/30



• 7 Ceramide Gold Ultra Restorative Capsules (3.2 mL)



• 50 mL Ceramide Purifying Cream Cleanser



• 5mL Prevage Anti-Aging Formula



• 15 mL 8 Hour Cream Skin Protectant



• 3mL Ceramide Lash Extending Treatment Mascara in Black



• Deluxe Compact with 3.6g Bronzer Duo, 2 eyeshadows in Wheat and Teak, and 2 lipglosses in Mandarin Shine and Frosted Camellia



• 3.5 g Ceramide Plump Perfect Lipstick in Perfect Shine



• 5mL Mediterranian Perfume
  

Seriously. That is a pretty sweet GWP.
At The Bay, if you choose to support ol' Aerin Lauder, Estee Lauder's GWP is a 8 piece set with a $32 purchse. It contains:

• Take It All Away Total Makeup Remover



• Your choice of Perfectionist [CP+] Wrinkle Lifting Serum or Idealist Pore Minimizing Skin Refinisher



• Your choice of warm or cool lip stick



• Your choice of warm or cool eyeshadow duo



• 3 makeup bags in blue (sm), lime (med), and navy (lg)



• And, with any purchase over $75, you can add 3 extra Hydra Lustre Lipsticks and a pink makeup bag.
  

I'm not totally impressed by this one, but if you're in to Estee Lauder products, now is the time to strike. I honestly have never used either of these brands, so I can't give you a run down on whether or not these products are good, but it might be worth your time to get something safe (foundation, bronzer, etc) from Elizabeth Arden, because by the looks of it, you get to try half of her line in the GWP. And if you need to stock up on your favorite Lauder or Arden products, you might as well get something extra for your hard earned cash.

Listening to: Underneath It All - No Doubt

Scrub A-Dub-Dub

I am a bath addict. I mean it. I crave baths during the day, and some may call me gross, but I will take a bath over a shower any day. I like to soak and then scrub the bejeezus out of my skin. As a result, I have silky smooth skin, even in winter (just so long as I moisturize after!).

My current favorite scrubbing tool is The Body Shop's exfoliating skin towel. Apocalypstick Now talked about a similar scrubbing cloth, the Salux Beauty Skin Cloth, back in February, and as I was reading it, I was going "Heeeeeey, I have one of those! She's right, they ARE magic!". Whichever brand you use, they are made of a rough, loose woven nylon cloth that scrapes gunk and dead skin cells from your body and satisfies every urge to itch your back, but they are still pretty soft and don't hurt. They dry very quickly, making these more sanitary than loofas, sponges, or washcloths, since germs don't have time to grow in the lovely wet environment. And these things are loooong. I cut 4 washcloth sized pieces for facial use out of mine and I still have a hefty long strip that I use to scrub my back and can ball up to make a loofa-style scrubber for body use. They come in all sorts of colours (The Body Shop one comes in green, orange, cream, and white), and they retail for about $5, so you can get several for different members of your household. That way you don't have to worry about contaminating yourself with someone else's cooties. Aaaaand these are washable, so chuck it in the machine on cold, or rinse out with some tea tree soap, let air dry, and you don't have to worry about rubbing your own dead skin across your body. Urgh.

A final word of warning: after exfoliating, no matter how you do it, please moisturize, or all of your insistent, border-line OCD scrubbing will go to waste. That lovely fresh skin will dry out extra quick if you don't slap some humecant lotion on there stat.

Listening to: Layla - Eric Clapton

Play That Record One More Time

I'll admit, I'm not much of a makeup snob. I live in a small city that just got a MAC booth at the Bay a few months ago, and 'high end' makeup is hard to find here. I'm also a student, living on a student's budget, so even if the makeup is available, I can only stare wistfully at it. Going to Sephora in Edmonton is a trying experience for my boyfriend, since I can never make up my mind on what product I want (and can afford) and flit around. It's probably something akin to having a mosquito on a leash.

Anyway, last year when I had a full time, well paying job, I discovered that BeneFit cosmetics were available in my city, and I got very excited. BeneFit cosmetics were formerly found only in very large centres in Canada, like Vancouver or Toronto, and I had lusted over them for some time.

I finally went and bought BeneFit's Some Kind- A Gorgeous foundation, and I'm glad that I did. It is one of those skin matching foundations that you always look at and go "Well, that looks orange in the tin...Skin matching my ass". The S.A. assured me that it would still match me, swiped some on my jawline, and handed me a mirror. I puzzled over it, because it was not orange, it did indeed match my skin. I thought maybe it was the florescent lights in the store, and went outside to check it out. It still matched. Hmm. I was convinced, shelled out the (rather steep for me) $33 for it, and went home to play with my new toy.

I've used it off and on for a year, but I always come back to Some Kind-A Gorgeous to take a break from my newer foundations, or to supplement my mineral powders. I like to use it as a concealer, since it is light and pretty sheer, so my blemishes don't look obviously 'covered up' the way they can look with heavier creamy formulas. I've even used it this winter, and I am ghostly pale. It still matches up.

Don't buy this if you are looking for heavy coverage. This foundation is good for looking like you're not wearing much makeup; skin tone, muted rosiness, and freckles still peek through. It is a great summer foundation, but does require me to use blotting sheets a couple times a day. Definitely not mattefying. And the sponge they supply you with is absolute garbage. Use a foundation brush to get it even and to ensure that you aren't wasting a whole schwack of product.

Do you know of any cosmetics available in Canada for me to try? I'm always curious...

p.s. I just went on the BeneFit website and saw Hello Flawless...restrain me!

Beating Around The Blush

I love love love blush. I'm pretty pale, so a little splash of pink on my cheeks during the winter months really brightens my whole complexion up. I normally use Too Faced Hibiscus Breeze (deep purple in the tube, hot pink on the face) and Quo's Cheek Tint in Blush (a knock off of Tarte, for half the price with more pigment!), but unfortunately these are both discontinued. They will probably take me ages to use up, so I'm not too worried, but I only like to wear them on bare skin. I just don't like the heavy feeling on my skin that layers of moisturizer, cover up, foundation, and blush cause. And this stuff gives a dewy look, which becomes a shiny, greasy look by afternoon. It's too bad, because I like the sheer, realistic look gel blushes give, and generally don't like powder blushes. I just haven't found a powder blush that was sheer enough, and didn't contain enough sparkles to illuminate my entire face. I manufacture my own 'glow', thank you very much! I don't need shimmery crap to make me look plastic and ultra greasy at the same time.

Fortunately for me, Revlon was thinking along the same lines. They have come out with the Matte collection, featuring no fake sparkles and sheer, buildable colours. I picked up the Matte powder blush in Rose Rapture, and I think I have a new love...

This stuff has no shimmer to it, just very fine pigments that spread over your cheeks, and will probably cause people to wonder what you've been doing to look so great. The colour is sheer and blends in well, making it believably realistic, which is a big plus for me, since I like to look like I'm not wearing makeup. If people think I'm just that gorgeous without help, I'm fine with that...

I think my precious gel blushes might be pushed to the back of the makeup bag until beach season. Sorry guys, I've got to do what's best for me...you understand, don't you? It's not you, it's me...Just let me go, ok? I've found someone new.

Listening to: Happiness Is A Warm Gun - Across The Universe OST

Mission Update + New Products

Ok, so It has been a while since I started my skin regimen, and I figured I'd better give you an update.

Things went good for the first couple of days, although the KMF Peaches and Creme lotion made me super greasy by about halfway through the day. I'm talking makeup meltingly greasy. Then, I started having HUGE red zits pop up on my cheeks, chin, forehead. I got a little freaked out, but my skin is known to react from new products, so I toughed it out for a few more days. But, instead of going down, the zits made little zit colonies and got really red. I figured it might have been the lotion, and that I may have changed too much at the same time.

So, I cut my routine down to just the Pond's Cold Cream and the Oxy Benzyol cream. Things improved, but not by much. Then, 2 days ago, I was looking at Lush's Ultra Bland Cleanser (Which is basically a hipster version of Pond's) and some of the reviews said that customers didn't like this stuff when they just washed it off with water, but when they followed the DIRECTIONS and used a wash cloth to scrub it off, it worked wonderfully for them. When I looked at the directions on the Pond's cream, lo and behold, they instructed me to use a warm washcloth.

What a difference that has made! I used a cloth that night, put on my BP, and slept soundly. In the morning, my face was so much better, and the big red monstrosities had already started to shrink down. And here's something a little on the gross side... After srubbing with Pond's, my sick blackheads on my chin and nose come out like nothing else...apply light pressure, and they slide right out, leaving squeaky clean pores...

Even with this improvement, I feel like my skin needs to be cleaned in the morning. I'd like to continue to use the Pond's for nighttime makeup removal and cleansing, but I have this nagging need to have a thoroughly washed face in the morning.

So, I've bought ClayMedicx French Green Clay Soap to try as a morning cleanser. I've had success from bentonite masques before, so I'm hoping this soap will have similar results. Even if it doesn't, this soap has an amazing peppermint-vanilla scent (much more on the peppermint side though) that I would be more than happy to use as a bath soap. It has pretty minimal ingredients, just bentonite, honey, olive oil, glycerin, and essential oils. Nice and simple, and it is also hypo-allergenic, free of colouring, cruelty and animal testing free, and all natural.

Let's hope my successes with the coldcream-BP routine can be mixed in with my need for a cleaned face... fingers crossed...

Listening to: My dog snore...

Snow, Snow, Everywhere, Nor Any Tooth To Sparkle

I dunno if you guys have noticed, but I'm on a change-everything kick. This need to fix my hair, face, muscle tone, etc. hits about twice a year, and usually coincides with the beginning and end of winter. In the fall, I dye my hair outrageously dark and try to amp up my makeup, scaring my mother when she comes to visit, and in the late winter/early spring, I slather self tanner onto my pasty skin, try to achieve cali-beach hair, and obsessively try to beat my zits into submission. The changing of seasons has always bugged me, but waiting for winter to turn into spring in Alberta is like inchworming your way over hot coals. It's March, with 2 feet of snow, at -33c outside. And it will be like this until mid May. The thought is a bit depressing. Out of boredom and to maintain my sanity, I embark on mini makeover missions. If you want to psycho-analyze my motivations, perhaps I do these makeovers as a ritual, enabling me to feel like as I change, so will the weather, giving a subconscious feeling of control. Or, maybe I'm just sick of being stuck in the house for over 6 months of the year with f'in chapped, blindingly white skin.

So bear with me as I introduce another boredom induced project: teeth whitening. I'm off to buy Plus White 5 Minute Speed Whitening Gel today. According to every makeup blog I've read out there, this stuff knocks the socks off of all other tooth whitening products. All you have to do is squirt some of the gel into the tooth trays, or apply it to the tooth surface with a q-tip, wait 5 minutes, and then receive compliments from outrageously attractive men on the street. Or, y'know, flash your pearly whites at the cute guy in the car next to you while waiting for police to clean up the fender bender caused by someone trying to drive with all season tires in this weather. I'm sure he'll be able to see your sparklers from beneath your toque, balaclava, and down filled jacket...

Anyway, I guess this stuff doesn't cause tooth and gum sensitivity the way Crest Whitestrips do, and works better and faster than the Rembrant whiteners. And the plus side - it costs $7 (Can.) for the tube of whitener, or $14 for a whole kit, including the gel, a tooth tray, and some b.s. whitening rinse. That's a steal of a deal. Oddly enough, the only place I've been unable to find this is at Walmart. I've seen it at Superstore, London Drugs, Shoppers, etc. so it is pretty easy to obtain. If you're like me, and like to check everything out on MuA before you purchase, Plus 5's review page is here. I'm off to give this a go, and will update you on the results in about a week!

Listening to: Postcards From Italy - Florence And The Machine

Glorious, Simply Glorious!

Last week I told you about my minimalist hair routine, and I mentioned that I use BioSilk Therapy to calm the frizzies and protect. This isn't a new product for me, I've been using it since I was 12 years old. My hairdresser gave me a sample after I got my *first* layered haircut (the 'Rachel' was in, to give you an idea of how long ago this was, and what my hair looked like...). I fell in love with it then because (sigh) I liked the way it smelled. Maybe I should change my blog's name to "Things That Smell Good!"

Anyway, I became addicted to the way it smelled and how shiny it made my hair. I would seriously flip my hair upside down and dry it into crispy obedience. Silk Therapy made it all better...or at least bearable.

On MakeUpAlley, this stuff has a bit of a bad rap for making hair look 'greasy'. To which I say: Of course you look greasy when you throw silicone onto (or into) your body willy nilly! You do need to exercise your brain and some caution when applying this stuff. First of all, I have long, thick hair and I only use a dime sized amount. You only need a little bit. More does not mean that your hair will be shinier and prettier, I just means that you will look like you crawled from bed after a week long bender.

Take a small amount in the palms of your hands. Rub them together vigorously for 10 seconds. This stuff needs to warm up quite a bit to apply smoothly. Both of your palms should be thoroughly coated. Use ONE palm to get the very ends, or the last 1/3 of your hair. Then rub your hands together again, coating both palms. Again, use ONE palm to get the next 1/3 of your hair, or the middle. Then, rub your hands together once more. You should have only a tiny bit of glisten and slickness left on each hand. With swift sharp movements, brush your hands over the last 1/3 of hair, or close to your roots. This method obviously works best with medium to long hair, but I'm confident that you could use do this on short hair as well. I use Silk Therapy before I blow dry to protect, and then a smaller amount after drying and flat ironing to add shine and smell. When I go on my reconstruction binges, I use it on wet hair, and let it air dry. Use some common sense, and tailor your useage to what kind of hair and routines you have.

Finally, I know this stuff is expensive. At the salon, it costs about $18 for a small bottle. I buy mine at Winners (usually about $7 for the medium sized bottle) or at Costco. It's so much cheaper at these places than it is anywhere else, so snap it up when you see it, as supply comes and goes. If you want to try it out, but don't want to commit to buying, ask your stylist for a sample. But be warned: This stuff is like opium for the hair.

Listening to: Girl With One Eye - Florence And The Machine

I'm Seeing A Hair "The-rapist"

I have been dying my hair for so many years that I'm not really sure what colour my hair would be if I went natural again. So, needless to say, my hair is rather damaged. On top of this mess, my hair is of the 'in between wavy and straight' persuasion. This means that it never dries straight, and it never dries in sexy beach waves. It just looks limp and like I've just rolled out of bed...but not in a good way. So to look like I've pulled myself together, I need to blow dry and flat iron my hair into submission.

What this means is I have damaged my hair beyond recognition, and need to take it easy for a while. See, I cut my hair off into one of those trendy short swing bobs about 2 years ago, and I've been slowly and painfully growing it out. It is now at my shoulder blades at the longest point. I say at the 'longest point' because I was an idiot and told a hair stylist that I wanted layers, but beyond that she could do what she wanted. In my defence, this usually works out in my favour, since the hairstylist gives me a great cut because she's having so much fun going hog wild. Anyway, this particular hairdresser gave me layers stretching from the crown of my head to my shoulder blades. Yup, full on mullet. I'm not kidding. Needless to say, I'm letting this grow out too...

With all of this crap damage and the need for my ends to stop breaking so that I could grow this monstrosity out, I have resorted to limiting my highlights to every 5 months (easy on the hair AND the wallet!) and letting my hair air dry almost all of the time. It sucks and I often look like I spent the night under a bridge somwehere, but my hair has slowly been getting shinier and the breakage has stopped. I've also taken to coating it with a mixture of the Body Shop's Macadamia Straightening Balm (which, by the way, does NOTHING for heat styled hair. It smells yummy though!) and Biosilk's Silk Therapy. This decreases the frizzies and keeps my hair soft.

In conjunction with my skincare regimen, I hope to have a pretty, healthy body by summer. Wish me luck! Oh, and if anyone has any suggestions for products that boost wave without becoming stiff, gimme a shout in the comments. I'm on the lookout for something that can make me look less half drowned kitten.

p.s. I can't type 'therapy' without thinking of the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy sketch about "the-rapists". Now you won't be able to, either!

Listening to: Jerk It - Thunderheist

I Said WASH Like A Hippy, Not SMELL Like One!

Every beauty blog out there has been raving about Dr. Bronner's Magic Soaps. Dr. Bronner's is this hippy soap company, using fair trade ingredients for major components, organic oils from all over the world, and no foaming agents, like Sodium Lauryl Sulphate. They claim 18 uses for this wonder soap, and by all accounts this stuff can do everything under the sun, including dishes, laundry,and body washing. I'm not sure I'll be using it for the 'douche', 'deodorant', or 'toothpaste' applications any time soon, but to each their own... I did use it as shampoo, and my hair turned out like felt. Please, please God, save yourself the split ends and don't even try this. My boyfriend tasted it to see if it would work as toothpaste, and didn't seem impressed. Actually, I think his exact words were "It burns!!!!!". Maybe you should just take him at his word.

I picked up the Almond Liquid soap for about $10 at Save-On-Foods in the hippy-organic cosmetics section. It smells like delicious, delicious marzipan, but doesn't scent my skin for long after my bath. The Peppermint is supposed to be wonderfully cooling and tingly, especially on hot days, so I think once my monster bottle of Almond is gone, I'll get some minty freshness for summer. They make quite a few different scents, so I'll bet there's one that catches your fancy. Just don't try to read the ravings on the label; you'll only give yourself a headache.

Listening to: Boondock Saints Theme - Dropkick Murphys

Chapped Hand Therapy

Before this winter, I have never in my life experienced really dry skin. I've never had to apply moisturizers to keep my skin comfortable, and getting into this routine every day is tough for me. The worst part has been how dry my hands have become. I've taken to carrying 3 different lotions around in my purse.

My favorite out of these three is Crabtree and Evelyn's Gardeners Hand Therapy. It's thick and spreads really nicely, working into all the cracks, rought spots, and grooves in my hands. I usually don't enjoy lavender very much, but this stuff is balanced with fresh, green herbal smells so that the lavender isn't overpowering or cloying. It gets a little greasy on my palms, but I think it's worth it if my hands don't feel like paper anymore.

The downside of this stuff is that it runs for $14. That's quite a bit for what is essentially lavender scented shea butter. I was given this as a gift, and that's why I'm using it, but I probably wouldn't buy this of my own volition, since I'm about as cheap (and as poor!) as they come. If you need some moisture in your mitts, but don't have too much extra cash, pick up some Glysomed. It works about as well as Crabtree's lotion, but for less than 1/2 of the price. But, if you're in the market for something more luxe, give this stuff a try. If the lavender doesn't appeal to you, give the Rosewater hand therapy a go, it's light and lovely and not old-ladyish at all.

Skin: No new pimples, more moisturized around the eye area, old zits are going down. It's looking hopeful, but I'm not quite at the 'english rose' level yet.

Listening to: Handle Me- Robyn

I'm On A Mission...

Picture from Natalie Dee

I have had terrible skin for as long as I can remember. It's nothing unbearable, but I always have 3 or 4 big, red blighters on my face at any given time. I seriously thought that getting out of my teens would help clear things up, but nothing has worked. Every product - salicylic acid, tea tree oil, sulphur, retinol - has garnered poor results with me. Benzoyl peroxide is the only thing that keeps me marginally managable. I've decided that this song and dance is getting a little old.

So, I'm embarking on a skin clearing mission. I think my skin is oily, but gets even oilier when it is not properly moisturized, and this oiliness is what causes the main problems. I also think that my skin needs to be exfoliated often, because when I don't give it a good scrub every now and then I get terribly clogged pores. Yuck. And maybe it's a little sensitive too, since harsh gel cleansers made for acne prone skin always seem to break me out.

After careful consideration and extensive searching on Make Up Alley, I've settled on Pond's Cold Cream as a cleanser, Burt's Bees Garden Tomato as a toner, Kiss My Face Peaches and Creme Moisturizer as a alpha hydroxy, and Oxy Benzoyl treatment. It's a pretty intense regimen, so I would not recommend most of this stuff for super sensitive skin. I'm hoping it works out. I'll keep you updated, and feel free to add your two cents or products that have works for you in the comments area.

Listening to: Quicksand - B. Spears