Doing The Caterpilar Crawl

Please do something with your eyebrows.

Can you imagine what some tweezers, a magnifing mirror, and a bit of clear mascara could have done for these guys?

I'm not saying you need to pluck your brows into oblivion (on the contrary, a manicured full brow is quite becoming), but please groom and control them. I used to finish my makeup and leave my eyebrows to do as they pleased, and by the end of the day I was doing my best to make my Scottish ancestors proud.

I eventually figured out that a quick swipe of clear gel, teasing the 'brow hairs up just a smidgen, framed my whole face and polished the look. No more wonk stray hairs! No more bangs ruffling the arch and giving me a mildly quizzical expression! Yay!

You can tame your face fuzz with whatever products you wish; Ive heard of chapstick to glue them down, hairspray or hairgel on a clean eyecomb, and brow wax. Find a way that suits you.

Wonky 'brow affects 1 in 3 people...are you at risk?

Listening to: Instant Pleasure - Rufus Wainwright

Breeding A New Bunny

Y'know how everyone does the 'snow bunny' look in winter, with the frosty shadow, pale lips, and shimmery pink blush? Pair with a silver bikini, earmuffs, mittens, and furry white yeti boots, and you've got beer girl at the ski hill...but a hot beer girl...

Anyway, with the advent of spring, the 'snow bunny' needs to uh...change its colours. So, I present to you the 'easter bunny' (come on, gimme a break...).

You can do this with all drugstore makeup if you're doing cheap n chic, or you can have some fun with M.A.C. You need:

• CoverGirl Eyeshadow quad in Urban Basics



• Black or brown eyeliner



• Revlon Matte Blush in Rose Rapture



• Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer in Rhubarb



• Your regular old foundation, coverup, mascara, etc.
  

Do your base and give yourself a light cover - let your freckles peek through if you have them, but cover dark spots. You want a creamy, matte finish.

Add blush to your apples and blend out.

With the shadow,use the white highligher on the inner corners of your eyes and highlight your brow bone lightly.

Make a smokey eye with the blue-grey shade. Add some of the taupe for shimmer if you want, or make the grey more opaque for a matte look. This stuff applies pretty sheer, and after 1/2 an hour tones down to more of a grey than a blue-purple.

Line your top lashes with a medium thickness line.

Curl your lashes and pile on the mascara on the top.

Give a quick swipe of the Burt's lipgloss. I know it applies in a weird pink at first, but rub it in well and it is a perfect springy, girly pink. For extra gloss, add some bubblegum liquid gloss. I like Quo's Lip Gloss in Babe.

Curl your hair, throw on a sundress and a cardigan, and smile at everyone who passes. This is very on-par with the spring makeup looks that went down the runways.

I promise you will make a better 'easter bunny' than this guy...

Stroke Me The Right Way

I hate buying makeup brushes. I hate walking into M.A.C. and looking at their horridly overpriced brushes. I hate knowing that I will buy them, even when I know Michael's Craft store has basically the same thing in the painting section for 1/5th of the price. It's garbage. So, out of poverty and need, I usually end up buying brushes from the drug store, which inevitably turn out to be absolute crap; bristles are rough, fall out, don't distibute product evenly, or seem to suck up product like a sponge.

This is an issue no more!

EcoTools makes a wonderful line of quality drug store brushes that I would say are comparable to expensive brands. I picked up their Blush brush for around $8, and was quite resigned to picking brush bits from my cheeks and having to throw the p.o.s. out within the month because it was falling apart. EcoTools has proven me wrong. This brush is incredibly soft taklon, and makes me want to sit and apply blush all morning long, just to have it strooooke up and down my cheek. It's gorgeous. And, you may be interested to know that these brushes are made with recycled or sustainable materials, and the bristles are made of cruelty free hair. It's just a small way to help, if that's your thing.

I haven't tried any of EcoTool's products besides the Blush brush, but the foundation brush looks halfway decent, and the angled liner brush looks serviceable too. I would say the Blush brush is equal to M.A.C.'s 116 Blush Brush, which retails for $38.50. That's a savings of over $30, guys. Go give EcoTools a try, and use the money you saved to buy yourself somethin' reeeaaaal niiice.

Listening to: Electric Feel - MGMT

Can You Can-Canela?

My boyfriend's parents go on vacation to the Dominican about twice a year. With the uncanny precision of a sixth sense, they always go right when the weather turns to absolute shit and we all hole up like rodents, under layers of blankets to keep warm. And, they return, tanned and smiling, bearing rum and coffee, right after the worst of the blizzard has passed. I don't know how they do it.


Anyway, they came back again a couple weeks ago, and brought us some vanilla, coffee, and coconut oil. My boyfriend loves to cook, and he wanted some different types of oils to try. His parents brought us back a squirt bottle with the words "For A Fast and Long, Lastin Tan" (sic) on the front, and a glass bottle called "Can Canela". Neither of them looked like they would make great cooking oils (although 'Fast and Long, Lastin" does smell a tidge like mushrooms... I'm not sure I could trust it). So, I carted both of them off to the bathroom to join the ranks of bathroom crap I try once then throw in a basket and never look at again.


But...the Can Canela stuff is wonderful! I opened it up to put a little on my lips when I was running late one day, and discovered that 'canela' meant that it was cinnamon. Heh. If my Spanish was better, maybe I would have known that, eh... Anyway, I've been using this for everything lately. It moisturizes hands and feet, plumps and shines up lips, makes a lovely bath oil, and gives a wonderfully close and satiny shave. I can't believe I haven't tried coconut oil before.


You don't have to wait for someone to vacation in the Caribbean to try this out. Health food and grocery stores sell tubs of coconut oil (it is a bit more expensive when it's imported...$10-$15), and seriously, all the Dominicans did was throw a cinnamon stick into the oil and let it sit there and steep. You can do the same thing. You could also use ground cinnamon, but I don't think I would use that on anything but lips, since it might be gritty. Throw some into little travel tubs or lip pots, and you have gorgeous on the go. But, be warned, this stuff switches from solid to liquid very quickly. It is solid in my house (about 18C), but liquid the second it touches my hands. Use with caution. And...maybe look for your "fast", "long", and "lastin" things elsewhere, m'kay?


Listening to: Summertime - Sublime

Milky Milky Cocoa Puffs

I've always liked the idea of moisturizers. I try every one that catches my fancy, thinking they will work for me the way they work for everyone else, and always wind up looking like I've covered my face in Crisco (which, by the way, I've heard is an excellent moisturizer...). My face breaks out, gets red, or feels like it has been sealed with wax. But I always try again...

This time my persistence has paid off! Befine makes a Night Cream with cocoa, millet, & rice bran that I absolutely love! I haven't broken out! My face isn't red! I don't feel like I've applied Burt's Lipbalm to my face! And (this is the cool part) I'M NOT SHINY!

This is a first, people. I'm always shiny. I am the Kuwait of faces. I use this morning and night, and when this soaks in, I don't look or feel like I've put anything on. There is no residual slick, no funny surface sheen. My skin feels like skin...just softer than it was 5 minutes before, and more like I can stretch it and make faces to match my emotions without my skin cracking like a salt flat. And I'm mattified, but don't have that weird grainy-chemically feeling mattifying lotions get. Yes, this is a miracle. I would like to nominate whoever makes Befine products for a sainthood. I'm pretty sure this qualifies.

Don't run out and buy this if you aren't of the extremely greasy of face, I really don't think this will be enough for you. And, I'll admit, this has a slightly off boiled rice smell, but it fades quickly, I promise!You oily girls with strong olfactory defences, listen up: if you moisturize, your face won't try to compensate and over produce oil. Adding moisture can be a good thing - if you find the 'right' product. This one might be it. I bought mine from Superstore for $7, but it looks like this normally goes for about $20. I'd say it is worth it. If you aren't sure you want to shell out the money for this before you discover the magic for yourself, Befine makes little sample packettes, with enough product for about 10 uses, that cost about $2.

Listening to: I'm In Miami, Bitch - LMFAO *This is the international song of the douche. Just listening to it makes me feel like I need to pop my collar, wear Axe, and drive a big truck. But it's sooo catchy...

I WILL NOT Be Inviting YOU To Tea!

No.

Just...No.

I am constantly on the lookout for something that will give me pretty, sexy beach hair. I am essentially a lazy creature, but my vanity demands that I look good. So, I try to find the shortest route to pretty that I can. Always.

I was hopeful that this would be a shortcut to my hair in the morning - texturized and wave inducing without being crunchy, wet-gel looking, or terribly expensive. "Separate curls and waves to create a dishevelled, loose, beach life effect"? Sign me up!

It. Did. NOT. Deliver.

This smells like you have doused your head in Acqua DiGio, the scent of douchebags and popped collars world wide. I'm not talking 'just a little' masculine...this is full on gross. When I got into the car, my boyfriend sniffed and asked me what in hell I had put on. He doesn't notice this stuff unless it is bad.

And it did not wave my hair. It just looked chunky and a bit stiff, like I had sprayed the bejeezus out of it with spray starch. This morning when I woke up, I noticed that my hair had literally felted together in some places.

No.

My Anglophilia stops here. Well...except for the hot mess below...

Listening to: Not Fair - Lily Allen

Put A Little Spring In Your Step

On Friday and Saturday, it was gorgeous here. I felt so uplifted; I went and poked around looking for pretty sun dresses at the mall and skipped through the slushy puddles. The sun was out, the snow was melting, and one of the spring irises was blooming in my garden! I couldn't help but go buy a pretty spring nail colour to match my mood.

I picked up N.Y.C.'s In A New York Color Minute Quick Dry polish in Uptown (242B) for a very affordable $1.99. This is a perfect petal pink, just like the lipstick Barbie wore in the 90's. Uptown applies really smoothly without streaking or getting that weird layered look pink polishes sometimes get, so you can choose to apply a more understated single coat or a bold 12-inch-doll double coat. It really is so springy and cute, it instantly lifted my mood.

Which is good, since Sunday it snowed like a mutha and turned back into winter. Great.

Listening to:The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning - Smashing Pumpkins

Rime Of The Ancient Mints

Just a quick update on the Plus White 5 Minute Speed Whitening gel I've been using.

I'm gonna say this stuff works. Yes, I know, it looks like a product you would buy from The Shopping Network or off an infomercial at 4 in the morning during a moment of sleep deprived weakness. I know it is literally the cheapest whitening product on the shelves (after whitening toothpastes. But those are crap that made the skin in my mouth peel. Ew.).

I'll admit I sort of forgot about this mission for a couple of days, so I haven't reached optimum whiteness yet. But there has been a definite and noticeable lightening of my tooth colour using this gel twice a day for about 10 minutes each time. Not quite whites-of-the-eyes white, or paper white yet, but brighter and whiter than I've gotten them before using Colgate's whitening gels.

The gel is really thick and a bit hard to spread over your teeth with q-tips, but it dries pretty quickly and does not hurt my teeth, gums, or lips if I accidentally get some on them. I have to bare my teeth for the duration of the treatment, since saliva loosens it and then you get this uncomfortable clump of gel sitting and swishing behind your lips. I will say that if you choose to try this out, you should buy the $14 package with the tray. I wish I had now, but since this was an experiment, I went the cheap route incase this stuff didn't live up to its hype. To use, brush and floss your teeth, dry them with a piece of tissue or a clean washcloth, squish this stuff on, and ignore the fact that it tastes just like those 10 year old scotch mints your grandma keeps on her coffee table.

Now I need to go do my Political Science paper...no more procrastination!

Listening to: Be Mine (Ballad Version)- Robyn

Making Things Easier For Them Workin' Girls

Holy Sweet God, I don't know who came up with these things. I'm torn between feeling absolutely horrified and thinking these are AMAZING! They are like those transfer tattoos that I used to put all over myself to look badass, but grown up. They also look like they were created just for Ru Paul. These are idiot proof cream shadows in crazy-pants designs on transfer papers. So, for only $25, you too can look like a prostitute/clown fetishist applied your makeup for you. I almost want them!

To get a final opinion, I showed these bits o' fabulous to my dear boyfriend; he laughed, asked me if I remembered that Simpsons episode in which Homer invents a makeup gun, and then shouted "Whores, Whores, WHORES!" like a carnie at the fair. I guess that settles it. On the topic of whores, here's something to make your day.

Listening to: Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright

I Think They Got Blind Children To Name These

I am always on the hunt for a good, true brown eyeliner. Whenever I find a liner that looks like it might be ok, it always turns out to have a heavy red pigment to it that makes me look like I've been crying, or it is just a tad too soft and makes my eyes look recessed.

GOSH cosmetics makes a good stick liner called Metallic Brass, which is neither metallic nor brass coloured. It is a dark dark brown with teensy tiny flecks of gold in it. These flecks did not irritate my eyes at all, and are honestly hardly noticeable once this is on your eyes. Metallic Brass is part of their Velvet Touch Waterproof line, which they claim will not budge after it sets. It definately does not move for love or money from dry areas, like my the back of my hand, so if you are dry around the eye area, this will probably be super for you. I'm a bit oilier, but even then it only smudges a tiny bit, and creates sexy bedroom eyes when I apply it "oriental" style. And this stuff is very waterproof, so you will have to use some oil based remover or cold cream to get it off. GOSH has also included vitamin E and Jojoba oils to "moisturize", although how much moisture you'll absorb from your eyeliner is a bit dubious. They do apply really smoothly and don't look waxy, so I guess GOSH is onto something with their wonder formula. In addition to Metallic Brass, GOSH makes 26 other liner colours, all with stupid or misleading names and online swatches that are not even close, making me wonder about GOSH's ability to correctly identify and represent colours. Ah well, at least their products are good!

Listening to: Three Little Words - Frankmusik

A Steal Of A Peel

With the demise of the KMF Peaches and Creme AHA lotion, my hopes for an AHA product that works also died. However, being a resilient creature, and hopelessly addicted to beauty products, I recovered my broken heart and returned to the cosmetic aisle of my local drug store.

I love checking out the bargain bin; my love of finding a deal and constrained finances combine to give me quite a thrill when I find something that is actually good in the bin of separated nail polishes and broken powder compacts. During my most recent foray into the bin of lost retail hopes, I found St. Ives' Peel Off Hydroxy Masque for $1.99. I figured this was a pretty acceptable price for something that might just end up shoved to the back of my vanity, bought it, and rushed home to slather my face with goop.

The first time I opened the cap, watery gel rushed out. I'm going to suggest that you don't do that. Shake the bottle very thoroughly and carefully squeeze out a bit at a time. The consistency is a bit thin, so to prevent breaking when I peeled it off, I let it dry for about 7 minutes and then applied a second thin coating. This stuff smells like slightly fermented apples and what I can only describe as acid...something like what you would imagine a mad scientist's laboratory to smell like. And the vapours wafting up while my face dried made my eyes water. I'm serious, this stuff burns the eyes like it was made from the urine of satan's minions.

But for all of the terrible parts of this masque, it works wonderfully. It didn't burn while on my skin, and didn't give me any type of chemical burns along my cheekbones (where I usually get burned from bad products). It is actually pretty gentle when you peel it off, I didn't wince or have to pull slowly. It comes off fairly easily, and doesn't give you the impression that you just applied superglue to your face. My skin was smooth, radiant, and not at all red from over exfoliation. I also didn't feel too tight, and didn't need moisturizer after peeling the translucent masque from my face. And my acne scars and pores seemed diminished, probably from the salicylic and lactic acids. I've now used it twice a week for 2 weeks with no ill side effects or breakouts.I have to say I was suprised and impressed.

Here's the bad part: St. Ives has discontinued this product, so if you want to try it out, get it quick. They started to phase it out in January, so bottles of this should still be around, and should be super cheap. Go get some and join me in the disgusting fun found in peeling this crap off your face and then peering at it to see if any gross pores came loose with it. Repulsive but soooo satisfying...

Listening to: Eyes On Fire - Blue Foundation (Yes, from the Twilight soundtrack...you want to make something of it?)

Ring The Alarms

Just incase you don't know, both Elizabeth Arden and Estee Lauder have gift with purchase promotions going on right now.

The Elizabeth Arden GWP is going on at Sears, and actually looks pretty sweet. It is a 9 piece set with a $38 purchase. It includes:

• 15 mL Ceramide PP Moisture Cream SPF 15/30



• 7 Ceramide Gold Ultra Restorative Capsules (3.2 mL)



• 50 mL Ceramide Purifying Cream Cleanser



• 5mL Prevage Anti-Aging Formula



• 15 mL 8 Hour Cream Skin Protectant



• 3mL Ceramide Lash Extending Treatment Mascara in Black



• Deluxe Compact with 3.6g Bronzer Duo, 2 eyeshadows in Wheat and Teak, and 2 lipglosses in Mandarin Shine and Frosted Camellia



• 3.5 g Ceramide Plump Perfect Lipstick in Perfect Shine



• 5mL Mediterranian Perfume
  

Seriously. That is a pretty sweet GWP.
At The Bay, if you choose to support ol' Aerin Lauder, Estee Lauder's GWP is a 8 piece set with a $32 purchse. It contains:

• Take It All Away Total Makeup Remover



• Your choice of Perfectionist [CP+] Wrinkle Lifting Serum or Idealist Pore Minimizing Skin Refinisher



• Your choice of warm or cool lip stick



• Your choice of warm or cool eyeshadow duo



• 3 makeup bags in blue (sm), lime (med), and navy (lg)



• And, with any purchase over $75, you can add 3 extra Hydra Lustre Lipsticks and a pink makeup bag.
  

I'm not totally impressed by this one, but if you're in to Estee Lauder products, now is the time to strike. I honestly have never used either of these brands, so I can't give you a run down on whether or not these products are good, but it might be worth your time to get something safe (foundation, bronzer, etc) from Elizabeth Arden, because by the looks of it, you get to try half of her line in the GWP. And if you need to stock up on your favorite Lauder or Arden products, you might as well get something extra for your hard earned cash.

Listening to: Underneath It All - No Doubt

Scrub A-Dub-Dub

I am a bath addict. I mean it. I crave baths during the day, and some may call me gross, but I will take a bath over a shower any day. I like to soak and then scrub the bejeezus out of my skin. As a result, I have silky smooth skin, even in winter (just so long as I moisturize after!).

My current favorite scrubbing tool is The Body Shop's exfoliating skin towel. Apocalypstick Now talked about a similar scrubbing cloth, the Salux Beauty Skin Cloth, back in February, and as I was reading it, I was going "Heeeeeey, I have one of those! She's right, they ARE magic!". Whichever brand you use, they are made of a rough, loose woven nylon cloth that scrapes gunk and dead skin cells from your body and satisfies every urge to itch your back, but they are still pretty soft and don't hurt. They dry very quickly, making these more sanitary than loofas, sponges, or washcloths, since germs don't have time to grow in the lovely wet environment. And these things are loooong. I cut 4 washcloth sized pieces for facial use out of mine and I still have a hefty long strip that I use to scrub my back and can ball up to make a loofa-style scrubber for body use. They come in all sorts of colours (The Body Shop one comes in green, orange, cream, and white), and they retail for about $5, so you can get several for different members of your household. That way you don't have to worry about contaminating yourself with someone else's cooties. Aaaaand these are washable, so chuck it in the machine on cold, or rinse out with some tea tree soap, let air dry, and you don't have to worry about rubbing your own dead skin across your body. Urgh.

A final word of warning: after exfoliating, no matter how you do it, please moisturize, or all of your insistent, border-line OCD scrubbing will go to waste. That lovely fresh skin will dry out extra quick if you don't slap some humecant lotion on there stat.

Listening to: Layla - Eric Clapton

Play That Record One More Time

I'll admit, I'm not much of a makeup snob. I live in a small city that just got a MAC booth at the Bay a few months ago, and 'high end' makeup is hard to find here. I'm also a student, living on a student's budget, so even if the makeup is available, I can only stare wistfully at it. Going to Sephora in Edmonton is a trying experience for my boyfriend, since I can never make up my mind on what product I want (and can afford) and flit around. It's probably something akin to having a mosquito on a leash.

Anyway, last year when I had a full time, well paying job, I discovered that BeneFit cosmetics were available in my city, and I got very excited. BeneFit cosmetics were formerly found only in very large centres in Canada, like Vancouver or Toronto, and I had lusted over them for some time.

I finally went and bought BeneFit's Some Kind- A Gorgeous foundation, and I'm glad that I did. It is one of those skin matching foundations that you always look at and go "Well, that looks orange in the tin...Skin matching my ass". The S.A. assured me that it would still match me, swiped some on my jawline, and handed me a mirror. I puzzled over it, because it was not orange, it did indeed match my skin. I thought maybe it was the florescent lights in the store, and went outside to check it out. It still matched. Hmm. I was convinced, shelled out the (rather steep for me) $33 for it, and went home to play with my new toy.

I've used it off and on for a year, but I always come back to Some Kind-A Gorgeous to take a break from my newer foundations, or to supplement my mineral powders. I like to use it as a concealer, since it is light and pretty sheer, so my blemishes don't look obviously 'covered up' the way they can look with heavier creamy formulas. I've even used it this winter, and I am ghostly pale. It still matches up.

Don't buy this if you are looking for heavy coverage. This foundation is good for looking like you're not wearing much makeup; skin tone, muted rosiness, and freckles still peek through. It is a great summer foundation, but does require me to use blotting sheets a couple times a day. Definitely not mattefying. And the sponge they supply you with is absolute garbage. Use a foundation brush to get it even and to ensure that you aren't wasting a whole schwack of product.

Do you know of any cosmetics available in Canada for me to try? I'm always curious...

p.s. I just went on the BeneFit website and saw Hello Flawless...restrain me!

Beating Around The Blush

I love love love blush. I'm pretty pale, so a little splash of pink on my cheeks during the winter months really brightens my whole complexion up. I normally use Too Faced Hibiscus Breeze (deep purple in the tube, hot pink on the face) and Quo's Cheek Tint in Blush (a knock off of Tarte, for half the price with more pigment!), but unfortunately these are both discontinued. They will probably take me ages to use up, so I'm not too worried, but I only like to wear them on bare skin. I just don't like the heavy feeling on my skin that layers of moisturizer, cover up, foundation, and blush cause. And this stuff gives a dewy look, which becomes a shiny, greasy look by afternoon. It's too bad, because I like the sheer, realistic look gel blushes give, and generally don't like powder blushes. I just haven't found a powder blush that was sheer enough, and didn't contain enough sparkles to illuminate my entire face. I manufacture my own 'glow', thank you very much! I don't need shimmery crap to make me look plastic and ultra greasy at the same time.

Fortunately for me, Revlon was thinking along the same lines. They have come out with the Matte collection, featuring no fake sparkles and sheer, buildable colours. I picked up the Matte powder blush in Rose Rapture, and I think I have a new love...

This stuff has no shimmer to it, just very fine pigments that spread over your cheeks, and will probably cause people to wonder what you've been doing to look so great. The colour is sheer and blends in well, making it believably realistic, which is a big plus for me, since I like to look like I'm not wearing makeup. If people think I'm just that gorgeous without help, I'm fine with that...

I think my precious gel blushes might be pushed to the back of the makeup bag until beach season. Sorry guys, I've got to do what's best for me...you understand, don't you? It's not you, it's me...Just let me go, ok? I've found someone new.

Listening to: Happiness Is A Warm Gun - Across The Universe OST

Mission Update + New Products

Ok, so It has been a while since I started my skin regimen, and I figured I'd better give you an update.

Things went good for the first couple of days, although the KMF Peaches and Creme lotion made me super greasy by about halfway through the day. I'm talking makeup meltingly greasy. Then, I started having HUGE red zits pop up on my cheeks, chin, forehead. I got a little freaked out, but my skin is known to react from new products, so I toughed it out for a few more days. But, instead of going down, the zits made little zit colonies and got really red. I figured it might have been the lotion, and that I may have changed too much at the same time.

So, I cut my routine down to just the Pond's Cold Cream and the Oxy Benzyol cream. Things improved, but not by much. Then, 2 days ago, I was looking at Lush's Ultra Bland Cleanser (Which is basically a hipster version of Pond's) and some of the reviews said that customers didn't like this stuff when they just washed it off with water, but when they followed the DIRECTIONS and used a wash cloth to scrub it off, it worked wonderfully for them. When I looked at the directions on the Pond's cream, lo and behold, they instructed me to use a warm washcloth.

What a difference that has made! I used a cloth that night, put on my BP, and slept soundly. In the morning, my face was so much better, and the big red monstrosities had already started to shrink down. And here's something a little on the gross side... After srubbing with Pond's, my sick blackheads on my chin and nose come out like nothing else...apply light pressure, and they slide right out, leaving squeaky clean pores...

Even with this improvement, I feel like my skin needs to be cleaned in the morning. I'd like to continue to use the Pond's for nighttime makeup removal and cleansing, but I have this nagging need to have a thoroughly washed face in the morning.

So, I've bought ClayMedicx French Green Clay Soap to try as a morning cleanser. I've had success from bentonite masques before, so I'm hoping this soap will have similar results. Even if it doesn't, this soap has an amazing peppermint-vanilla scent (much more on the peppermint side though) that I would be more than happy to use as a bath soap. It has pretty minimal ingredients, just bentonite, honey, olive oil, glycerin, and essential oils. Nice and simple, and it is also hypo-allergenic, free of colouring, cruelty and animal testing free, and all natural.

Let's hope my successes with the coldcream-BP routine can be mixed in with my need for a cleaned face... fingers crossed...

Listening to: My dog snore...

Snow, Snow, Everywhere, Nor Any Tooth To Sparkle

I dunno if you guys have noticed, but I'm on a change-everything kick. This need to fix my hair, face, muscle tone, etc. hits about twice a year, and usually coincides with the beginning and end of winter. In the fall, I dye my hair outrageously dark and try to amp up my makeup, scaring my mother when she comes to visit, and in the late winter/early spring, I slather self tanner onto my pasty skin, try to achieve cali-beach hair, and obsessively try to beat my zits into submission. The changing of seasons has always bugged me, but waiting for winter to turn into spring in Alberta is like inchworming your way over hot coals. It's March, with 2 feet of snow, at -33c outside. And it will be like this until mid May. The thought is a bit depressing. Out of boredom and to maintain my sanity, I embark on mini makeover missions. If you want to psycho-analyze my motivations, perhaps I do these makeovers as a ritual, enabling me to feel like as I change, so will the weather, giving a subconscious feeling of control. Or, maybe I'm just sick of being stuck in the house for over 6 months of the year with f'in chapped, blindingly white skin.

So bear with me as I introduce another boredom induced project: teeth whitening. I'm off to buy Plus White 5 Minute Speed Whitening Gel today. According to every makeup blog I've read out there, this stuff knocks the socks off of all other tooth whitening products. All you have to do is squirt some of the gel into the tooth trays, or apply it to the tooth surface with a q-tip, wait 5 minutes, and then receive compliments from outrageously attractive men on the street. Or, y'know, flash your pearly whites at the cute guy in the car next to you while waiting for police to clean up the fender bender caused by someone trying to drive with all season tires in this weather. I'm sure he'll be able to see your sparklers from beneath your toque, balaclava, and down filled jacket...

Anyway, I guess this stuff doesn't cause tooth and gum sensitivity the way Crest Whitestrips do, and works better and faster than the Rembrant whiteners. And the plus side - it costs $7 (Can.) for the tube of whitener, or $14 for a whole kit, including the gel, a tooth tray, and some b.s. whitening rinse. That's a steal of a deal. Oddly enough, the only place I've been unable to find this is at Walmart. I've seen it at Superstore, London Drugs, Shoppers, etc. so it is pretty easy to obtain. If you're like me, and like to check everything out on MuA before you purchase, Plus 5's review page is here. I'm off to give this a go, and will update you on the results in about a week!

Listening to: Postcards From Italy - Florence And The Machine

Glorious, Simply Glorious!

Last week I told you about my minimalist hair routine, and I mentioned that I use BioSilk Therapy to calm the frizzies and protect. This isn't a new product for me, I've been using it since I was 12 years old. My hairdresser gave me a sample after I got my *first* layered haircut (the 'Rachel' was in, to give you an idea of how long ago this was, and what my hair looked like...). I fell in love with it then because (sigh) I liked the way it smelled. Maybe I should change my blog's name to "Things That Smell Good!"

Anyway, I became addicted to the way it smelled and how shiny it made my hair. I would seriously flip my hair upside down and dry it into crispy obedience. Silk Therapy made it all better...or at least bearable.

On MakeUpAlley, this stuff has a bit of a bad rap for making hair look 'greasy'. To which I say: Of course you look greasy when you throw silicone onto (or into) your body willy nilly! You do need to exercise your brain and some caution when applying this stuff. First of all, I have long, thick hair and I only use a dime sized amount. You only need a little bit. More does not mean that your hair will be shinier and prettier, I just means that you will look like you crawled from bed after a week long bender.

Take a small amount in the palms of your hands. Rub them together vigorously for 10 seconds. This stuff needs to warm up quite a bit to apply smoothly. Both of your palms should be thoroughly coated. Use ONE palm to get the very ends, or the last 1/3 of your hair. Then rub your hands together again, coating both palms. Again, use ONE palm to get the next 1/3 of your hair, or the middle. Then, rub your hands together once more. You should have only a tiny bit of glisten and slickness left on each hand. With swift sharp movements, brush your hands over the last 1/3 of hair, or close to your roots. This method obviously works best with medium to long hair, but I'm confident that you could use do this on short hair as well. I use Silk Therapy before I blow dry to protect, and then a smaller amount after drying and flat ironing to add shine and smell. When I go on my reconstruction binges, I use it on wet hair, and let it air dry. Use some common sense, and tailor your useage to what kind of hair and routines you have.

Finally, I know this stuff is expensive. At the salon, it costs about $18 for a small bottle. I buy mine at Winners (usually about $7 for the medium sized bottle) or at Costco. It's so much cheaper at these places than it is anywhere else, so snap it up when you see it, as supply comes and goes. If you want to try it out, but don't want to commit to buying, ask your stylist for a sample. But be warned: This stuff is like opium for the hair.

Listening to: Girl With One Eye - Florence And The Machine

I'm Seeing A Hair "The-rapist"

I have been dying my hair for so many years that I'm not really sure what colour my hair would be if I went natural again. So, needless to say, my hair is rather damaged. On top of this mess, my hair is of the 'in between wavy and straight' persuasion. This means that it never dries straight, and it never dries in sexy beach waves. It just looks limp and like I've just rolled out of bed...but not in a good way. So to look like I've pulled myself together, I need to blow dry and flat iron my hair into submission.

What this means is I have damaged my hair beyond recognition, and need to take it easy for a while. See, I cut my hair off into one of those trendy short swing bobs about 2 years ago, and I've been slowly and painfully growing it out. It is now at my shoulder blades at the longest point. I say at the 'longest point' because I was an idiot and told a hair stylist that I wanted layers, but beyond that she could do what she wanted. In my defence, this usually works out in my favour, since the hairstylist gives me a great cut because she's having so much fun going hog wild. Anyway, this particular hairdresser gave me layers stretching from the crown of my head to my shoulder blades. Yup, full on mullet. I'm not kidding. Needless to say, I'm letting this grow out too...

With all of this crap damage and the need for my ends to stop breaking so that I could grow this monstrosity out, I have resorted to limiting my highlights to every 5 months (easy on the hair AND the wallet!) and letting my hair air dry almost all of the time. It sucks and I often look like I spent the night under a bridge somwehere, but my hair has slowly been getting shinier and the breakage has stopped. I've also taken to coating it with a mixture of the Body Shop's Macadamia Straightening Balm (which, by the way, does NOTHING for heat styled hair. It smells yummy though!) and Biosilk's Silk Therapy. This decreases the frizzies and keeps my hair soft.

In conjunction with my skincare regimen, I hope to have a pretty, healthy body by summer. Wish me luck! Oh, and if anyone has any suggestions for products that boost wave without becoming stiff, gimme a shout in the comments. I'm on the lookout for something that can make me look less half drowned kitten.

p.s. I can't type 'therapy' without thinking of the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy sketch about "the-rapists". Now you won't be able to, either!

Listening to: Jerk It - Thunderheist

I Said WASH Like A Hippy, Not SMELL Like One!

Every beauty blog out there has been raving about Dr. Bronner's Magic Soaps. Dr. Bronner's is this hippy soap company, using fair trade ingredients for major components, organic oils from all over the world, and no foaming agents, like Sodium Lauryl Sulphate. They claim 18 uses for this wonder soap, and by all accounts this stuff can do everything under the sun, including dishes, laundry,and body washing. I'm not sure I'll be using it for the 'douche', 'deodorant', or 'toothpaste' applications any time soon, but to each their own... I did use it as shampoo, and my hair turned out like felt. Please, please God, save yourself the split ends and don't even try this. My boyfriend tasted it to see if it would work as toothpaste, and didn't seem impressed. Actually, I think his exact words were "It burns!!!!!". Maybe you should just take him at his word.

I picked up the Almond Liquid soap for about $10 at Save-On-Foods in the hippy-organic cosmetics section. It smells like delicious, delicious marzipan, but doesn't scent my skin for long after my bath. The Peppermint is supposed to be wonderfully cooling and tingly, especially on hot days, so I think once my monster bottle of Almond is gone, I'll get some minty freshness for summer. They make quite a few different scents, so I'll bet there's one that catches your fancy. Just don't try to read the ravings on the label; you'll only give yourself a headache.

Listening to: Boondock Saints Theme - Dropkick Murphys