Tooootally Tubular, Dude!

Sorry, sorry, SORRY. I started a new job in a garden centre for the summer, and it is surprising how much it is taking out of me. I'm hot all day, I have to wear a lime green shirt that is not flattering with my skin tone and matches nothing in my closet, and my boss is anal retentive (and possibly autistic) and basically screams at everyone if they so much as breathe wrong. Yesterday he got mad at me for carrying my water bottle. I was on my lunch break.

Thus, I haven't had much time or energy to devote to this site for the last couple of days. But, working there gave me the opportunity (or the excuse, which ever way you want to look at it) to try out some new makeup, which I can now offer up as a procrastination tool for you guys.

The problem: The humidity and heat in the greenhouse was doing funny things to my mascara. It was flaky and smudgy when it hadn't been either before I started working. Plus, it got wet, and then bled down into the corners of my eyes. And none of my co-workers told me. All day.

What does this tell me (besides the fact that everyone working with me are assholes)? I needed to find a new, more durable mascara if I wished to keep my dignity at work. That's what.

So I combed through Apocalypstick Now's archives, and as that woman can do no wrong makeup-wise in my eyes, I decided to try out some tubey mascara on her recommendation.

I've explained the trouble with finding 'good' brands of makeup, and it was 9:45 p.m., so I went to Wal-Mart and picked up L'Oreal's Double Extend Beauty Tubes Mascara. It is a double sided wand with primer on one side and mascara on the other. The mascara is not like any other that you have used before. It quite literally makes little tubes around each lash. You can see the little hollowed out tubes when you wash it off. Speaking of which, washing it off is a breeze. You wet a wash cloth, press it down gently on your lashes, then splash water on your face a couple times. This combination of pressure and water is the only thing that removes the tubes, so you can indeed cry in it and nap in it (as Apocalypstick pointed out), without worrying that you'll frighten pets and small children afterward. No racoon eyes, no mess. Simplicity is beautiful, my friends.

The primer isn't anything special on the top lashes. Actually, the first time I used it, I thought it looked like it was laced with rat hairs (BellaSugar said that it looks like 'lash lice'. Ew.). It was generally clumpy, and made my lashes look brittle when the mascara went over top. I also couldn't see any real difference between the 'primed' lashes and the 'unprimed' ones when I tested it sans-primer. But, when used on the lower lashes, the primer really delivered. My bottom lashes were about half as long as my top lashes. They were so long they brushed the bags under my eyes. The primer also makes removal much easier, if you have trouble getting the lower level mascara free.

What I've found works best is applying my regular old mascara as a primer, then giving them a second coat with the tubey formula. Yeah, my BadGal Lash is now just a very expensive primer, but combined with the Double Extend, it looks like I've got fake eyelashes on. I think this trick would only work with a wax based mascara (BadGal, Maybelline's Full 'N Soft), as other types would be too hard by the time you swiped on the tubes and would result in may-jah clumping. The tube mascara alone works pretty good, but not so awsome that you should chuck out your old stand-by. But, if you have been having trouble with the staying power of regular mascara, but don't like the damage and hassle of water proof formulas, you should walk in the way of the tube. I'll have to try out some other brands and report back. Even at this early stage, I think I might be hooked.

Listening to: Back To The Start - Lily Allen

I Think They Got Blind Children To Name These

I am always on the hunt for a good, true brown eyeliner. Whenever I find a liner that looks like it might be ok, it always turns out to have a heavy red pigment to it that makes me look like I've been crying, or it is just a tad too soft and makes my eyes look recessed.

GOSH cosmetics makes a good stick liner called Metallic Brass, which is neither metallic nor brass coloured. It is a dark dark brown with teensy tiny flecks of gold in it. These flecks did not irritate my eyes at all, and are honestly hardly noticeable once this is on your eyes. Metallic Brass is part of their Velvet Touch Waterproof line, which they claim will not budge after it sets. It definately does not move for love or money from dry areas, like my the back of my hand, so if you are dry around the eye area, this will probably be super for you. I'm a bit oilier, but even then it only smudges a tiny bit, and creates sexy bedroom eyes when I apply it "oriental" style. And this stuff is very waterproof, so you will have to use some oil based remover or cold cream to get it off. GOSH has also included vitamin E and Jojoba oils to "moisturize", although how much moisture you'll absorb from your eyeliner is a bit dubious. They do apply really smoothly and don't look waxy, so I guess GOSH is onto something with their wonder formula. In addition to Metallic Brass, GOSH makes 26 other liner colours, all with stupid or misleading names and online swatches that are not even close, making me wonder about GOSH's ability to correctly identify and represent colours. Ah well, at least their products are good!

Listening to: Three Little Words - Frankmusik