I WILL NOT Be Inviting YOU To Tea!

No.

Just...No.

I am constantly on the lookout for something that will give me pretty, sexy beach hair. I am essentially a lazy creature, but my vanity demands that I look good. So, I try to find the shortest route to pretty that I can. Always.

I was hopeful that this would be a shortcut to my hair in the morning - texturized and wave inducing without being crunchy, wet-gel looking, or terribly expensive. "Separate curls and waves to create a dishevelled, loose, beach life effect"? Sign me up!

It. Did. NOT. Deliver.

This smells like you have doused your head in Acqua DiGio, the scent of douchebags and popped collars world wide. I'm not talking 'just a little' masculine...this is full on gross. When I got into the car, my boyfriend sniffed and asked me what in hell I had put on. He doesn't notice this stuff unless it is bad.

And it did not wave my hair. It just looked chunky and a bit stiff, like I had sprayed the bejeezus out of it with spray starch. This morning when I woke up, I noticed that my hair had literally felted together in some places.

No.

My Anglophilia stops here. Well...except for the hot mess below...

Listening to: Not Fair - Lily Allen

I Guess Their Key Demographic Is The Bar-Star Set?

So I was gadding about in Wal-Mart yesterday, and came across this:

I got pretty excited because this shampoo really plays to the elements that draw me in - pretty colour on the package, label touting colour care, and a herbal rosemary - juniper scent. By now, you guys have to know how much I love pretty smells. This is pretty much the biggest selling feature for me a lot of the time.


So...I popped open the lid, squeezed the tube a bit to catch a whiff...and just about gagged.


This stuff smells like gin.


I instantly had a vision of myself in the shower with a hangover, trying to wash my hair with this terrible gin smell. I got gaggy just thinking about it. This is the worst idea ever.

Listening to: Come Undone - Duran Duran